Parenting using the unparenting philosophy for stronger family relationships

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1.) Unconditional acceptance	Know that children are not mini versions of you, and allow them to express who they are without consequence. (Not to be confused with allowing children to express themselves any way they want, or do whatever they want.)
2.) Engaged listening	Be involved in mutual conversations with your child. Realize that your child has really important things to discuss. Do not think of it as trivial.
3.) Fully acknowledge feelings	*(This one can diffuse so many situations it's ridiculous.) Do not try to avoid the feelings, or change the feelings or justify the feelings. Avow the emotion. Period.*
4.) Respond authentically	Kids know lip service. Give it up.
5.) Agree to disagree	Where is it written that a debate has to end in consensus? Your children are entitled to their opinions. This is by no means implying that they always get their way. Nor do you.
6.) Set boundaries for yourself and your child	When done skillfully early on in the relationship, this increases self control (of both parent and child) by leaps and bounds. Setting boundaries becomes irrelevant as time goes on.
7.) Get to know your child inside out	Know that kids say all KINDS of things for all KINDS of reasons. Learn to hear between the lines.
8.) Lighten up and find humor	This is real life, after all. Enjoy it.
9.) Sustain self emotionally, intellectually, physically	One of the best things a parent can do for the family. When your needs are a priority and met successfully you will be the best parent on the block. Your "needs" will disappear and you can focus on living.
10.) Think like a kid	Spend time just observing your kids. Figure out where your kids are coming from. Go there with them. Avoid being shocked. Get to know the things your kids know. It will broaden your perspective.
11.) Keep child informed	This breeds security and trust. They have a right to know what to expect in their lives.
12.) Be a friend	Yeah, we've heard it before "It's not your job to be your child's friend". I say, you'd darn well BETTER be their friend. If not you, who? Scary thought. A better concept might be "It's not your job to be your child's peer". Huge distinction there.
13.) Keep it real	Giving a kid too much to deal with when they are not ready, or not enough when they are, could hinder their true nature.
14.) Accentuate strengths	Too often, we are quick to point out what we perceive as weaknesses. By celebrating and building on natural strengths, we help our kids identify their importance. While you're at it, honor your strengths, too.
15.) Excavate the joy	The implications of a parenting job well done are mind-boggling. When you can visualize the big picture, it is a very joyous experience, indeed.

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