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Meltdowns

My child has meltdowns and makes scenes.

Nothing I try works.

Does your child have angry outbursts and meltdowns?

Screaming, stomping their feet, rolling around on the floor, not responding to anything you do?

At times like that, you might feel helpless or wish you could handle things without a fuss, but it just doesn’t work. You might find your own temper running high. Angry at the screaming child who will not be moved and angry at yourself, too, for not being able to handle the situation. Especially if you’re outside when it happens and everybody is staring. And you might be worrying deep down that your little one is turning into a spoiled brat?

Maybe you’ve tried things before:

Talking, comforting, bribing, ignoring, walking away, raising your voice, threatening, spanking.

But if you’re reading this right now, I’m going to guess none of that has worked.

How the Unparenting course can help:

Week 1

Is all about communication, so you’ll find out why none of those strategies will work reliably on children. You’ll learn what to replace them with so your child will stop making melodramatic scenes.

You’ll discover a simple method for talking so that your child will understand that you need something (to leave the house on time or go home from the playground, for instance) or you don’t want something (like to buy another candy bar) and not lose the plot over it. 

If your child is still too young to talk, that’s not a problem. We’ll share how to implement this new method of communication from infancy and avoid the kicking and screaming.

You don’t have to wait for them to grow out of it. You can work on their anger now.

Week 2

Week 2 is all about trust. You’ll find out the real reasons your child is angry and why you haven’t been able to do a thing about it. You’ll see that your little one isn’t just naturally melodramatic, headstrong or angry. If you want to change their anger, you just have to change your response. We’ll show you how, and you’ll be able to handle it the next time it happens — even in public with everybody staring to see what you’re going to do about that screaming child.

And if you’re worried about raising a spoiled brat who throws fits to get their way (as you probably hear all too often), don’t worry. The course will help you stop this cycle, set healthy boundaries, and make sure your child doesn’t get out of control.

How people who’ve done the Unparenting course have handled their children’s anger:

My 3-year-old son was an extremely explosive child. Tantrums every day. He fought me on every tiny thing. “Gets it from his dad,” I always told myself. But ever since we started learning from Unparenting, Naomi Aldort, The Four Agreements … it all started coming together. I can feel with certainty that I’m doing the right thing, acting the right way, that I understand my child. I’d even say we’re connected ;), and he doesn’t make those kinds of scenes anymore. Ever. I don’t have to force anything against his will. He’s turned into an amazing, cooperative boy. A friend who’s known us a long time was asking me for my secret. She said it’s like I have a whole new child, like she doesn’t recognize him. It’s so great to hear that other people see the change too. But the best thing is I can feel the change myself.

I saw changes starting with the very first Unparenting lesson. My 19-month-old son doesn’t throw fits now if he doesn’t get his way. He hardly cries anymore, and he comes over and hugs me just because. I feel like we understand each other much better now. I hope things continue like this.

I’m so happy. My 4-year-old daughter used to scream or cry anytime she wanted something, but that’s all gone now. She just says what she needs and how she needs it. She looks for solutions and makes suggestions.

We’re in Week 1 and already seeing some success. My daughter (6) is like a whole new kid. Leaving for school in the morning goes much more smoothly and fuss-free. We can go out in public without major problems. I’m really proud of her in the store — she behaves herself and even talks politely to the cashier. I don’t see other kids doing that. The cashiers always seem surprised too.

I’m more patient now. Today we did some baking for Easter. I used to stay on her back in the kitchen, but today we both enjoyed it. She was grateful, and we both had fun. I’m proud of myself for not stressing out.

I really love your approach to parenting. The first few lessons alone totally changed how I interact with my 2-year-old daughter. Suddenly the yelling and displays of temper are gone. Authenticity is so beautiful and relaxed! The people who raised us often taught us to play a role, unfortunately, but it’s great to realize that we’re doing it and that we can stop. :)

An aha! moment about honesty: He woke up in a funk that morning and insisted he wasn’t going to preschool and wanted to stay home and play instead. It was one of those mornings, and my nerves were starting to fray. I told him I needed to go to work, but he was still refusing to budge, crying and yelling that he wanted to play. Then I had the bright idea to get down on his level and say, “I know you want to play. But I’m a grown-up, and I have things I have to do — like go to work.” “Why didn’t you tell me that before? If you’d said that before, I wouldn’t have acted all grumpy!” AHA??

Our huge success story is about working out how to handle car rides with our daughter. Anytime we’d get close to the car seat, she would panic, yell and kick, and we couldn’t get into the car. Sometimes the ride there was okay but the way back was just impossible, so we’d end up going home by public transport. Today we’re taking the car there and back with no problems, and we don’t even have to have a big discussion about it.

Unparenting also really helped us with getting out of the house on time. Getting ready to go used to take between two and three-and-a-half hours of patience and complete exhaustion. Today we’re dressed and out the door in 15 minutes. It’s the same thing with diaper changes. Problem solved. We can even work things out when she has to wear particular shoes to go outside or when we can’t buy everything she wants from the store. We see some success every day, and I’m so happy about it. What are we doing differently? Everything! :)

What now?

Look at other topics you’re interested in and keep on exploring the course.