You’ve been together through thick and thin. The first shy smile. The first kiss. Everything was great. The first year, even the second, the third … I mean you’ve had some rough moments, but by the end of the day, he would always hold you in his arms and whisper how much he loves you.
“Babies, that’s nothing. Just wait until the Terrible Twos start. That’s the real challenge,” they told me. Everybody. So I kept waiting for when it would hit. My son just turned 2 recently. And this is what I’ve observed so far: One mom’s experience and a new way of looking at this delightful but challenging age. It might bring your family some relief.
You tell them “No!” a hundred times a day. No, don’t touch that, don’t go there, don’t put that in your mouth … And sometimes you feel like they don’t understand you at all and all your efforts are wasted? Or maybe they understand all too well and they’re just pushing your buttons. What do you think? Maybe so. Especially if you’re using one of the four ways parents say “no” that don’t work. And yet that doesn’t mean it’s always wrong to tell your child “no”. Hardly! Come and see what we mean.
When Mommy messes up: I want to be there for my child, but I’m stressed and irritable. What can I do?
You want to be a patient, loving mom. You give it your level best every day. But sometimes it just doesn’t work. Some days you just can’t do it: spend all day cuddling, explain patiently, and be understanding. Get up five times a night to give your little one a drink, tuck them in, or chase away a bad dream. Instead, you’re stressed out, your little one gets on your last nerve, and you snap at them. Right? Does that ever happen to you? If so, here’s some first aid to help you out. For all the stressed-out moms (and dads!) out there who are losing their cool and hating themselves for it.
Take some inspiration from parents who figured out what was making their children bite and managed to find a solution.
We’re playing on the carpet. We’re stacking blocks and having a great time. My toddler scoots over to me, going “vroom,” and I open my arms. Come here, you sweet, sweet child. I pick him up, he lays his head on my shoulder … and I feel a sudden, sharp pain. He bit me! What do I do? Yell? Put up with it?
The real-life experience of a mother with a 1-year-old son who just started practicing open communication together.
“Look for ways to work with them, not what will work on them,” says Unparenting. It took me a long time to decode what that actually means. Just recently, it finally clicked, and that’s when everything changed. Now I have a much easier time working things out with my 1-year-old.
We’ve collected stories and helpful tips for you from Unparenting families who managed to hit the target. The target being the potty, of course.
We’ve got one at home, too. Had it almost a year now. It’s a lovely pea-green with two little paws on the bottom. You know, to show the right way to sit on it. A perfectly oval, shiny, never-been-used potty.
The kind of child that gets called a brat or troublemaker in anger. If you’ve got one of those at home or in your classroom and you’re not sure where to turn, you might find some inspiration in the story of Timmy, a gifted ADHD student. His teacher found four things helpful in working with him. You’ll find them in the article, but it all started with a heart. A heart that longed to understand.
The painful secret they’ll fib to hide instead of tell you
Why do they look me right in the eye and claim “It wasn’t me!” when I know very well that it was? Why don’t they admit it? Why do they make up stories rather than tell the truth? They might have different reasons, but you may not have considered this one.
We want our kids to be brave, smart, and strong. Plenty of self-confidence, of course. So they’ll be successful in life. So they’ll make their way in the world. Don’t we? Did you know we might also be robbing them of that self-confidence every day? Without knowing it? It doesn’t seem like much when it’s happening. It might look like this.
Although Unparenting is all about communication, it’s not about memorizing some phrases from a book to use on your little one that they won’t understand anyway. It’s a whole new approach. It’s about seeing your children as team players ready to share their world with you. Over time you learn to listen to each other, be more perceptive to each other, and look for shared solutions you can both be happy with.
The problem with overly permissive parenting is everything revolves around the kids. They can do anything. No limits. Their parents mean well, of course. The trouble is when they forget about themselves and their own needs and boundaries. In other words, the child comes first and the parent comes second.